April 2020, I began my list of 300. This was a continuation of the list that I created in 2019 of 40 things before I turn 40. A manifestation coming to life! Magic by Design HD. This list has grown and evolved throughout the years, today I am called to write about one of the manifestations that actualized this month, and how this simple manifestation has made an imprint on my life that I never saw coming.
To understand the weight of this manifestation, let's travel back to 2019. I had always been connected to “spiritual teachings”, astrology, manifestation, etc... 2019 I was traveling ALOT for work, and I randomly stumbled across a podcast named “Manifestation Babe”. It was intriguing and I began to listen. It was a gal named Kathrin Zenkina, and the way she recorded her podcast sucked me right in! (fun fact: I’ve never listened to a podcast before hers!) From there I followed her on IG, but never partook in any of her programs until the end of 2020.
As I have written about this piece of my story before, I’ll give the cliff notes version as this piece is a big piece of the story. The full story is here: Everything Happens for a Reason
My daughter was diagnosed with bi-lateral hip dysplasia at the age of 2 (she is now 17) This journey has taken us through 15 surgeries, countless body casts, wheelchairs, countless times relearning how to walk etc. She has always had a positive attitude as she experienced so much in her young life.
This journey brought us to 2020, because of the numerous surgeries on her hips she developed a leg length discrepancy, her journey brought us to the International Center for Leg Lengthening in Baltimore, MD. She and I traveled from our home in Arizona to have her surgery in November of 2020, after the surgery we lived in a hotel room for 6 weeks as she was in and out of the hospital every day while my husband and son were back home in Phoenix.
This was not an easy part of our journey, honestly it was downright hard. Hard for her at the age of 13 to literally lengthen her leg and regrow bone, and for me being her support, being her rock as she was enduring so much.
To try to keep my spirits up, a dear friend of mine suggested that we do Epically Aligned together– one of Manifestation Babe’s mini programs. His thought process was to help me see that this piece was temporary, and we would have so much to look forward to in 2021. So, in that hotel room, I dove into Epically Aligned and was mind blown.
It was in that hotel room that Kathrin introduced me to human design, I was obsessed. I pulled my chart and the chart of my daughter. I learned that we are designed differently emotionally- I am defined, and she is undefined. It was that small piece of information that honestly got us though living in that hotel room. See learning this piece, understanding that when I was having a down moment (being a caregiver in a stressful situation is not easy) I would pull myself though it and the wave would pass, once I learned that my emotions unintentionally had an effect on my beautiful 13-year-old daughter who was fighting her largest battle yet sent me into tears. It was in that moment that allowed me to be more cognizant of my emotions to ensure she was not carrying the heaviness that was not hers, this small piece of information has changed our lives.
Through that small piece, I was hooked. Because of Epically Aligned I manifested us being able to go home the day before Christmas when we were supposed to be there through the new year.
Epically Aligned changed my life that year. Looking back at my journey, I know that I am where I am today because of taking this class in that hotel room during a very challenging piece of our story. It was during this chapter on my life where I added things to my “list of 300”
114: Go on a spiritual wellbeing weekend
115: Meet Kathrin Zenkina
116: Enroll in MBA: Manifestation Babe Academy
From there, my path has continued to evolve, I was manifesting all sorts of fun stuff, and I was diving into my spiritual path, I was in the March ‘22 MBA Cohort, my intention at that point was to leave my 6-figure Vice President role in the largest hotel management company in the world to be a human design reader.
It was through MBA where my intuitive gifts began remerging. Something that I naturally had as a child, but at some point, I shut them off. It was literally on a plane ride home from a business trip where I got the download that It was time to come home to myself and be comfortable with who I truly am.
I manifested leaving the corporate world to be an Energy Medicine Practitioner in April ‘23 and was so honored to be chosen to be a peer mentor in Kathrin’s MBA cohort August ‘23.
It was being a peer mentor for this cohort where I met 8 women who were so completely different, different backgrounds, different stages of life, but yet we were all connected as we were all on a spiritual journey to live our best lives, At the completion of the cohort the other peer mentors and I were surprised with a retreat where we would get to meet Kathrin herself!
This retreat happened earlier this month– the girls and I have been looking forward to this retreat for almost a full year! I was not only excited to meet the woman who had such a profound impact on my life, but also meet the women that I have formed a unique and special bond with.
Of the 9 of us, 7 attended the retreat, the two that did not were simply because they were actually LIVING some amazing manifestations within their lives! As the retreat was in Scottsdale and I live here, I organized a brunch for the mentors as they flew in early enough for us to get together.
Meeting in person was fabulous, after almost two years of being connected through technology it was so much fun meeting these amazing women face to face. We then went off to the retreat house which was BEAUTIFUL!
That evening we met Kathrin and got to spend some time together, listening to her tell us about different pieces of her journey. I actually sat next to Kathrin that evening and my entire body was internally vibrating. See, part of my gifts is that I feel energy. I feel things that are not seen by the naked eye. I was not only feeling the energy of Kathrin, I was feeling the energy of the entire high vibrational group I was with. During this time I kept downloading message after message from my guides, which honestly did not make any sense ( and quite frankly it was annoying me!)
The next morning the agenda was to do a local hike in Scottsdale. The message after message was for me not to go on the hike. This did not make sense to me, and it was honestly annoying because I wanted to be fully present for this retreat and take in every opportunity to be with these individuals. I also know enough to listen to my guides, so before bed I told the ladies that I would not be hiking tomorrow. The other thing I should mention is that the week of the retreat I changed the way I was managing my hypothyroidism. This has been something that has been a piece of my life since I was 15. I experienced some pretty big medical things in my teen years that were directly tied to my thyroid. I did not think too much of my thyroid at this moment, I was more tired than usual, but nothing too concerning. I actually wrote an entry about how I used to connect with my guides in my teen years, that will come into play shortly. How the past can help you understand the present.
The morning was relaxing, the ladies went out hiking and I stayed at the house. I made breakfast, journaled, and had a long meditation. It was nice. The ladies & Kathrin come back and we all have lunch together. Kathrin & team MB leave and the peer mentors and I have the afternoon together and then we will reconvene for a sound bath and then dinner as a group with Kathrin & her husband Brennan. This was probably one of my favorite parts of the retreat, I was so excited to read the ladies aura’s and do mini human design & channeling for questions each of them had. There was another mentor that was also really versed in human design as well as another mentor that brought her oracle deck so being in their presence and seeing how our energies complement each other was so much fun.
The sound bath was nothing less than AMAZING! Before the sound bath we each set an intention, and mine was to “let go & trust”. This has been something that I have been actively working on, releasing control and just trusting. The sound bath was an hour long but it felt like it was 5 minutes. When I talk about time does not exist, this really rooted in that thought. My body again was feeling so much, I could feel the vibration of the sound moving out stagnant energy. We went out to dinner as a group that night and went to bed early, because the next day we were going to my most favorite place in the world- SEDONA!
As y’all know I am an Arizona native and have lived 90% of my life in this state, specifically Northern Arizona. I grew up with Sedona as my back yard and to this day, this is one of my most special places. I was SO excited to spend the day in the red rocks with this group of women. The drive up was pretty smooth, the plan was to hike into Cathedral Rock, do a professional photo shoot, then go crystal shopping and then dinner before traveling back to Scottsdale. I have done the Cathedral Rock hike before and felt good doing that hike. At the last minute one of the gals from team MB asked us if we would be okay changing the hike to go to one of her favorite hikes, it would be a bit longer but same difficulty rating and everyone said yes. I had not done this hike before, but felt comfortable listening to her recommendation.
This is where this weekend changed my life forever.
As we are getting ready to hike, I again am receiving message after message from my guides telling me not to go. I don't understand why?! I love Sedona, I know Sedona like the back of my hand. I feel good. Why do they not want me to go?!
I do not listen to them, and I begin the hike with the ladies.
This is where some things get a bit blurry.
I am hiking and I can FEEL my body become heavier and heavier with each step I take. This does not seem right to me, there is no rational reason why I should be feeling this way. I continue to push, but I am getting slower and slower. I know the girls are in front of me, but I feel so disconnected from them, from everyone. I cannot find the words to explain the disconnection. I am physically present, but at the same time I am not. (Side note: for those not familiar with Sedona, the energy here is off the charts, this is why it is one of the most spiritually energetic places in the world- people experience breakthroughs, miracles on trips here) I begin to cry, I am not crying for physical reasons, I am beginning to release energy. (tears are one of the ways my body releases energy). By this point I have tears streaming down my face. Each step is heavier than the one before it and I feel as if I am becoming one with the rocks that I am walking on. The messages become stronger and stronger. “Gina turn around” “ Gina do not continue” “ Gina this is dangerous” at this point nothing is making sense to me, by now everyone is much further ahead of me, but yet still in eye shot I can see the last group of women. I stop and move off the trail by one of the juniper trees to center myself, it is here the tears just are flowing so hard, and I cannot breathe. It literally feels as if my heart is going to beat out of my chest. Again, there is no reason why I should be feeling this way. I get a message to look down, I look down and my legs are covered in bruises. This is when I know this is serious.
See, back when I was 15 and I got sick, it all began with lesions on my legs. They looked like bruises, and my mom had to carry me to the car to take me to the doctor because they hurt so bad, I could not walk. It took some time, but they diagnosed it as erythema nodosum, pretty much it was an alarm my body was sending out saying something was not right– que in my twisted ovaries, almost ruptured appendix and hypothyroidism.
These bruises have only appeared twice in my life– at the age of 15 when I first got sick, & the very first time I experienced a full reiki treatment in January 2020- (this is another story in itself!) and now again.
I knew I needed to stop, turn around and go back. The last group of ladies check on me and I tell them that I am turning around. They do not love the idea of me doing so, but they understand. They continue on the hike to the photoshoot, and I slowly begin to make my way back to the trailhead. I have no clue how long it takes me to do so, this is where I really do not remember many details, everything is super blurry, and I honestly think at some point I was having an out of body experience. There was this place of rocks that looked down into a little clearing, I do remember stopping here and sitting for a bit.
I made it back to the trailhead. The tears continue to flow. I cannot stop them, there is no point. I remember this piece as being strange→ this was a very popular trail, and I passed several people, lots actually. Not one person stopped and checked on me. I think this is very odd because it is in Sedona and people visit from all around the world. People are always kind here, if they would see someone who is distraught you would think they would check on them. Which was my clue that something was happening, because no one in all the hours that passed (again another time is not real experience happened in Sedona).
I am sitting at the trail head and by this point I am getting scared. I am texting my husband, my closest friend and my spiritual mentor– all in hopes to figure out what is happening and what is going on. Through those texts, I begin to channel from my guides. I took out my phone and started writing in the notepad what they were telling me:
“Gina I am holding you, caring for you. Just like I did when you were a child. I am back now. Just release, just allow everything to move through. Do not fight, just allow. Your body is a channel. You are a channel. It is time to let everything go, let the poison go. You are neutrality. I am always with you. I am holding you. I am holding you. I am holding you. Your heart felt like it was going to explode because you are setting it free. Allow the love to touch everyone. Allow the love to embody you. Flush out the darkness. You are the light. The world needs you to shine your light “
The ladies got back from their hike. I got through the rest of Sedona, my legs got better, I was feeling a lot of feels. When we got back to Scottsdale, I decided to leave and go home. I was wiped out in every way possible and just wanted to be home.
I woke up Sunday morning, so exhausted in every possible way, physically, mentally & physically. Honestly, I was also a little heartbroken. I had looked forward to this trip for so long, even more so I had looked forward to meeting Kathrin for years. This weekend was the furthest thing that I ever could have imagined.
See here is the thing, if I would have known that the weekend would have been like this would I have gone? Probably not. What this weekend did was help me close different chapters of my life that needed to be closed. It helped me see that everything (even the hard, yucky stuff) happens FOR me not TO me.
I know even more so that I am a channel. The way that I am able to read and translate energy is so unique that I am here to use this gift to help others. This is where it comes full circle, let's go back to 4 years ago, being in that hotel room with my daughter. Being introduced to human design, which at the time opened my eyes to how we each process emotions differently, to now embracing my unique design which gives me the gift of being a mirror to connect and feel others.
Kathrin, 4 years ago you were my light in a very dark chapter of my story, you have helped me ignite my light within. It's the light that is my favorite manifestation. Thank you for being a piece of my story.
I am ready to begin my next chapter…and it is, and will forever be, in this present moment, the magic exists.
" The difficulties you meet with resolve themselves as you advance. Proceed and light will dawn, and shine increasing clearness on your path" -- Jim Rohn
Xo, Gina Marie
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